Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
