Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
