We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
