You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
