Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
