Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
