The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
