Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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