You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
