thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
