My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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