small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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