Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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