Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
