We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
