I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
