Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
