man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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