Duck Duck Cougar?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
