So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The uberlube is also flammable
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
