I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
worst night to have a conscience
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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