i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
