Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
