ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
