who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Blood and glitter go together right?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
