We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
