I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
