Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
