I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
