You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
