It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
