Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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