if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Green mimosas i think yes
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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