I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
