doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
