I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
