I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
