i need an iv and a liver transplant
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
