i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
