3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
