I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
