if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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