He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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