The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Your dad touched me again.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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