Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry about my life...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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