how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
