If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
