This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
