come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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