i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
