just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
