Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
