no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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